baldkiller

So what can i say man, ITS BEEN AGES since i wrote here and i felt like talking to someone but everyone is asleep or doing something funny and ridiculous :P nevertheless JOURNAL! here i am hope u can listen to me!

SO journal my life has been in the world suckiest book of records ( jeez look at me whine), feels like i took a hit from a truck or maybe some guy head butting me in the skull! ( soccer)

So yea here i am talking abt my life, not the best well lets say cause of my dumbness i and all the other idiotic part of me put together dropped the FREAKIN HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI combined on my head! Unlike JAPAN i was definitely not prepared! and i think my nuclear reactors FREAKIN LEAKED like hell!

I feel like now i am a worker at the leaked area trying to work my ass off but i guess only god knows how much i can (: its either u die or die trying.

But i guess life is like that u make em mistakes to face em, sometimes u dont get second chances or maybe sometimes u just got to wait for maybe time to heal the damage...but sometimes even waiting hurts.

Well i feel just wait then try my best to fight and see if she notices it (: pray to god she does (:

Thanks to everything!

Life has been full of ups and downs....guess that life right?

Anyways might start posting more stuff down here...after reading the past seems like the present needs some attention (:

SO yea more shit here soon (:


Nights
peacce

I know u dont think that i am trying.....
I know u are wearing thin down to the core....

This is not what i had intended....
I always swore to you i will never fall apart....
You always thought that i was stronger....
I may have failed, but i have loved from the start....

cause a girl like you is impossible to find.....




Sorry ):

After u have said good night to ur loved ones...what do u do ):

For me i stare into my celing thinking of ways i can improve to some people
What i have done wrong in the weeks..how am i gonna impress the people in the coming weeks (:

Nights to be are really boring...cant seem to sleep....when i surf the net...i tread past my GF's blog all i see is the damage i caused her..blah full of a sucker i am ):

Nvm but i guess god planned it well...nights are where i reminisce with my past (: good times bad times...past few weeks its the bad times i caused my gf thats been lingering in my mind.....

Been saving u money for my gf's bade present(more meals to skip (:)....thinking of finding a small flyer job or a super small super temporary job..to get some extra cash for her present....After i aint rich...but my parents are (: LOL

I feel like...i cant be like any other guy...who has less stricter parents...whose parents allow him to go out after 10 to meet a friend  and stuff....therefore making my GF sad when she cant see me...i am sorry wawa

Once again reading my GF's blog...damn really brings me down so low....i think i should go for the punching the wall therapy....it hurts like hell...pain is immediate and effective...makes me tear like a FOOLISH guy...but good thing is no scars or redness...or maybe cause i am that black...haha so my GF wont noe...haha thx god (:

So yea...i will be doing my punching....need to keep my dearie happy (: and i have to learn from my mistakes (:
Nights ppl

Well life isnt all about having fun...

i have to study hard.....FREAKING STUDY U RAVIN IDIOT!!!!!!

i have to train smart.....TRAIN LIKE A DOG...run like NEVER BEFORE!!!

i will balance my friends and family....both are important but i will manage them equally well!!!.....YES I WILL!

Best of all MY DEARIE SUNSHINE IS LOVED AND ALWAYS LOVED .....MUACKS MY BABY MONKEY take care of urself!!

throat hurts again...pain blood pain blood...yucks

it hurts.

I just wanna say sorry...for being the incapable bf...i will do my best for u
sorry abt today....i was feeling unwell and really tired...yesterday i didnt sleep properly...was waiting for ya message but none
i just wanna be stronger for u...once again sry for being rude...insensitive...foolish...pathetic...and an idiot...i am sorry...


peace love ya
ravin

Dear god...can i make myself tireless...plz i dont wanna feel tired...i dont wanna fall sick after trg...i just wanna run n keep my gf and other frends happy

please god give me strength...nose bleed...headache and sore eyes...wow SUCKY combo....plz god i got time trial tmr...give me strength...i need to put a strong front infront of others....i can do it (;

thx u god for helping...


raviin
peace out

Ok raviin boy listen up ok....its time to change yourself...

Step 1: Dont be stupid ok man....listen to yourself and be smart.

Step  2: Eat dinner with sunshine when u are out with her, unless u are low on cash...if u are just tell her she accepts you for being u ok...

Step 3: Always bring a jacket of extra pair of shirt when u are gonna meet her. She might be cold and need anotha layer...she can we us ethat clothing to smell u all the way back home.

Step 4: She doesn't end a SMS messgae...u have to be the last person to say bye...sunshine loves it when i am the last person who says bye (:
( i feel like i have been following on that)

Step 5: Call back if she miss calls u...dont just SMS her back...she gets FREAKING pissed...u dont wanna make ur  Sunshine pissed...or else she will BURN ur House and ur Face down ok (:

Step 6: Stop saying nevermind to her....if u are sick tell her and go and see a doctor ok dont try to be all MACHO and strong...let Sunshine love u (:

Step 7: Bloody hell stop comparing ok...she LOVES u for just the way u are...but i feel like doing something special and unique for her....i think i will do it when the time comes...now she wants to just enjoy u and love u like mad...and i want to do the same for her...i will always be there for her and she will always be there for me (:

Step 8: Finally STOP TALKING NONSENSE and be there for her (: MUACKS LOVE U DEARIE!!!

Thank u dearie for being with me...i am sorry for this few days...will stop doing that and will be changed ok (:

Love u dearie
i am sorry
WILL LOVE U MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY!
muacks

your dear Rainbow (:
love ya